J.Lo’s public presence has been a fascinating mystery to me ever since I was old enough to buy my first copy of Us Weekly. How does she perform so spectacularly? How does she choose which romantic comedy to star in? How on earth does she manage to make a relationship with Ben Affleck look that compelling over the span of multiple years and two engagements?
Now, though, a brand-new Netflix documentary is here to demystify the legend—below, find all the thoughts I had while watching the Jennifer Lopez documentary Halftime, released today.
- I love when a doc starts out with “pensive music playing.”
- God, J.Lo’s kids Max and Emme are so cute! And so big! Am I old?
- I can’t be that old, because I still covet J.Lo’s cropped, bejeweled sweatsuit.
- A bejeweled coffee cup! I will not rest until I obtain one.
- Aw, remember the halftime show?
- Plotzing at baby J.Lo’s bowl cut.
- J.Lo’s reminiscence about how much she loved West Side Story as a kid is making me long for a Rita Moreno documentary.
- Omg, the Fly Girl era!
- This extended shot of J.Lo learning to pole dance for her role in Hustlers (still mad about her Oscars robbing, btw) is my Rocky training sequence.
- How do I hack my way into J.Lo’s extremely supportive family group text?
- Not a J.Lo/Shakira phone call!
- J.Lo calls Shakira “baby.” These girls are unionizing!
- J.Lo denouncing Trump’s racist border-wall narrative as “bullshit” is extremely satisfying to me, even after all this time.
- J.Lo’s parents, David and Lupe, are adorable “divorced parents who still get along” representation.
- Hey, it’s George Clooney!
- Hey, it’s Rosie O’Donnell!
- Hey, it’s David Letterman!
- “Waiting for Tonight” era, baby.
- Now we’re getting to the good stuff (in my opinion, anyway): the tabloid years. I don’t think J.Lo loved them, but they were so formative.
- Okay, yeah, all these late-night show jokes and rumors do sound awful. Why does anyone become famous? (Oh right, the money and acclaim.)
- The Hustlers scene of J.Lo stripping to Fiona Apple’s “Criminal” lives in my head rent-free.
- It is truly wild how much this woman rehearses. I’m impressed.
- I need this Day-Glo splatter-paint sweatsuit.
- All these throwback shots of a younger J.Lo on the red carpet have me verklempt! Oh, how time passes.
- Hey, it’s Laura Dern!
- Hey, it’s Quentin Tarantino!
- Hey, it’s the dress!
- All I want to watch for the rest of my life is J.Lo and Shakira rehearsing a dance number together.
- Emme petitioning for a gecko is making me cry with laughter.
- Oh, wow, I forgot about J-Rod.
- If you are not out here recognizing the perfection of The Wedding Planner, you are no friend of mine.
- That American/Puerto Rican flag moment at the Super Bowl really was so major. Name a cooler woman!
- JK, you can’t. Would watch again.
